Mother dating sex offender
If they could identify something I did wrong, something that they wouldn’t do, then their families were safe from harm.I was accused of everything from not being submissive enough to being sexually frigid.I had been a Christian for close to 18 years, without any crisis of faith until this point. Lewis’s words from A Grief Observed: “Not that I am … The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him.I had been sure of God’s love, care, and interaction in my life even in the midst of pain and difficulties. The conclusion I dread is not, ‘So there’s no God after all.’ But, ‘So this is what God’s really like.Deceive yourself no longer.’”I agonized over whether or not I had been wrong about God, over whether or not I could trust Him.To make matters worse, the majority of Christians, while often well-intentioned, responded in a number of unhealthy and wounding ways. I’ve come to the conclusion that my circumstances shattered many people’s illusions that the world is a safe place. The fact that he admits to soliciting a 14 yo (or so he thought) while he was in his 40s is bad enough - he probably did much worse. I would assume the truth is much much worse than what he describes - because when you take a plea deal, you're pleaing to less than what you actually did. Happened in 2006, convicted and pled guilty in 2008. no gifts given with his name attached and absolutely no unsupervised time with your children- this includes her- she obviously lacks good judgement, and cant be trusted to do whats in your childrens best interests. If you are having any communication with her I would try and remain calm without getting completely worked up, reiterate the same phrases "Mom, I love you but as long as you are in this relationship we cannot do/have X" etc.
Many sexual offenders are gifted at causing others to feel sympathy for them. In the aftermath of dealing with the reality of the situation, I suffered from and was treated for severe trauma. Of course this guy claims he was set up and the world was out to get him. She does have a support system, but they have all contacted me saying the same thing: dude is sleezy and not to be trusted. But "anyone" who always blames others is bad news, and coupled with a child sex offense, it's a disaster. My brother is involved with a similarly messed up woman, and the dysfunction touches everyone. i would be letting her know that you and your family want absolutely nothing to do with him, including holidays, or even bringing him up in conversation. You can't force her to 'see the light' and you can easily make yourself frustrated in trying. It "could" be different if he took full responsibility for what he did and did something to try to fix the problem (therapy, meds, whatever). I guess I was hoping someone would know what to say to her to make her "see the light." The guy is a skeeze ball, and since I teach kids I was extra angry. if i were you i would set some VERY clear boundaries. But that you don't support this relationship with this guy. I will admit, I freaked out and did a lot of damage to our relationship (I can be very mean when I want to be) so I'm sure that further isolated her. OP- your mum is free to have any relationship she wants- but so are you. If you can, stay in contact with your mom, and tell her you care about her.