Neil strauss online dating
The book was called , and it chronicles Strauss's headlong journey through this peculiar world just as it was starting to gain momentum, and his own metamorphosis into a pick-up master, teacher and guru.
The internet age taught the nerdy kid who was picked on at school that the world was theirs for the taking. Women, who retained an untamed sense of mystery, didn’t fit the matrix.
Some of the creepier or more aggressive users have been on the more unpleasant websites, and have used the inherent hatred of women they found there to confirm their loneliness.
It can be a downward spiral of misogynistic confirmation-bias. He admits that there are aspects of the community that have little respect for women.
“I suppose I would like to think I am an individual,” says Rebecca, who fell for the pick-up artist, “but it turns out in emotional terms I'm depressingly predictable.” The second are those like Dan, who sees himself as using his extant charm as a basis, and simply spicing it up with a few tricks here and there.
The third and most common level consists of the people don't quite understand these theories, but are too shy to approach anyone any other way than with rote lines.
The systematisation of this natural interaction, however, turns it into a manipulative deception. The first are the proper pick-up artists featured in , who use neuro-linguistic and other more serious tricks, a sort of mind-control for seduction, which is creepy because it undermines female agency of choice and control – but also because it appears, at least superficially, to work.
“Writing this kind of stuff down as if its some kind of sensational trick just gives women a reason to get suspicious about a totally normal part of human interaction,” says a (male) commenter on the discussion thread I started. ” How many of us have teased, or been cheeky, or been the recipient of such, without thinking?
“It's nothing more than good natured teasing, that someone decided to coin as 'negging'. The problem I have is with the systematising, the same as explaining a joke scientifically – it kills it.
“I had been feeling quite low, as had recently ended a long-term relationship, and he came up to me and said something like 'you're a bit less hot than your friend, but it's OK, because I fancy you.' Obviously I am a smart, intelligent, confident and successful woman, so should have thrown something at him; but instead I was charmed.
“Anyway, at his house I found he had a spreadsheet of all the women he was seeing, colour coded with days and nights.